The start of 2015 began with a devastating kick to the gut when Hannah returned home from her three week vacation in Colombia declaring she wanted to stop playing volleyball, and join the dance team. My heart was broken, and Marion went catatonic, she was becoming a great setter, but it’s her life, and this was only the first of many big decisions that she will make in her lifetime that we may not be fans of, so here we go. To be honest, I remember making a similar proclamation to my mom just before my freshman year in high school when I decided I wanted to quit soccer, my life-long obsession, and play basketball instead. A decision I have never regretted a day in my life. In any case, the up side to January was that just a couple weeks after the volleyball bomb dust settled I spent a marvelous evening with my darling niece Darby, who is blessedly too young to talk and break her parent’s hearts. All she does is smile, squeeze, and love. I needed a heaping dose of that sugar the night before my most treacherous race yet, the Spartan Super.
The Spartan races are part of the obstacle course phenomenon that is sweeping the entire planet. I decided to sign up for the Super distance, 8+ miles, because it seemed sensible and challenging. The Spartan brand is very Cross-Fit driven, which is not my forte at all, but I respect all forms of athletic competition, especially those that inspire the ordinary “Joe’s” to get off the couch and push themselves beyond their expectations. I have never been to a Cross-Fit class, and I doubt I ever will, but I had a blast running, bleeding, and cheering on fellow racers through the dusty and windy conditions at Vail Lake in Temecula, California.
I started the day in awe of the bodies all around me. There were many men and women who were ripped for days, but there were also body types and ages representing every demographic imaginable, it was truly inspiring. I was very happy I made the choice to step outside my comfort zone and try this kind of race; it was going to be a very fun day.
The race kicked for me at 8:45AM, at 8:46AM I was chest deep in cold water and mud, game on! The first mile was up a steep hill, the last 50ft. or so we had to climb up with ropes, it was very Princess Bride cliffs of insanity-esque, and I loved it! My not-so buffed out arms showed up, and cranked up and over the crest more nimbly than a few of the dudes on either side of me, so that was exciting. The next few miles or so, we cruised down a dynamic ridge that overlooked the region, it was gorgeous. Once at the bottom of the hill I conquered a heavy pulling obstacle, yay! The next few obstacles were a success, however, reality hit once I had to climb around this wall deal, with pegs, I fell instantly, and was ordered to do 30 burpees, the standard punishment for not completing an obstacle. If you are unfamiliar with burpees, think of them as the love child of a jumping jack and a push up, good times.
Next up was the spear throw, yup, more burpees for me! Luckily, I was running quite quickly in-between obstacles, but the obstacles that required epic upper body strength alluded me because of my long, tree trunk legs kept weighing me down. Surprisingly I did make it half way through the monkey bar obstacle, and nearly to the end of the reverse rope climb, until I reached for the finishing bell and collapsed to the ground in a pitiful thud. I quickly rolled over and hopped to my feet flushed in humiliation, because my fall happened right in front of a volunteer, but she just dazily pointed to her right and I quickly fled the scene with an inch of pride intact.
The next couple of miles sent us up a steep and dusty climb that crumpled many competitors to a death march, but my legs were too strong and prideful to shut down just yet. I have put them through many, many torturous days over the years which made this race feel like an adventurous romp to them, while my arms were weeping. I careened down the back side of the hill and continued on the trail then was stopped in my tracks by another by obstacle. Thankfully, it was a sled-like deal that my legs demolished, which was a welcome confidence builder leading into the final mile or so of the race.
I ran past mile seven then the trail dipped down into a wooded area with twists, turns, and jagged terrain that demanded a few leaps and bounds until once again a monkey bar-esque obstacle was right in front of me. This time I went straight to the burpee section. I am sure it wasn’t an inspiring sight, but I knocked out the 30 burpees, and ran off past mile 8 closing in on the finish line.
The next obstacle was a humongous ladder/net crawl deal that required a keen mind, and careful body positioning. I was anxious to finish so I scraped my bloody knees across the net ceiling section crawling in slow motion to the other side. I was impressed when a spider like dude bounded across the net to my right, but was reassured when he mumbled, “I’ve done this before.” Once I made it across, I carefully descended the ladder back down to earth, turned to my left and ran down a grassy hill with a smile on face; I could smell the end to this battle.
I laughed out loud when I saw the last obstacle before the finish, a rope swing over a mud pit, yeah, no way! I jaunted right over to the side, and dutifully began my 30 burpees. After what felt like a million seconds I was done, finally. I jumped to my feet, and leapt over the fire pit only yards in front of the finish line to the most understated fanfare I had yet to experience in any race. I wasn’t even sure if I was done until a volunteer handed me a medal and asked for my chip. At last, my first Spartan experience was in the books.
I was inspired by the course, the volunteers, my fellow competitors, and myself. The Spartans really asked a lot, to which I answered, “I am Sparta!”
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